Fashion Shuv It...

May I just prepare you this isn't a positive, glossy or indeed cheerful post ( please feel free to skip on by and chose another blog post if you do feel like a dose of 'fashion gloss'). See I feel compelled to vent some of my personal fashion issues it can be correctly suggested I have this turbulent love/ hate even contradictory relationship with fashion... Now I may ruck some fashion feathers, however this isn't my intention. Neither is it my hidden motive to stir up a frenzied fashion debate or provoke some ongoing 'controversial' fashion comment carnage (though I'd really love to read about your similar and uncanny experiences). Its my passion to write and I only ever write in all sincere honesty (after all I'm a terrible liar) about experiences and so to speak the view from where I'm currently stood (just for the record: I'm not striving for any violins here either).

Fashion I Think I Heart You?
I like many of you have such compassion and am often left in awe when in the company of fashion I first developed such butterfly feelings towards fashion as a child when surprised with a fashion wheel (as some of you may already be aware of, when I introduced myself last year). From that moment fashion was well and truly apart of me and my only ambition from the age of 5 yrs old was to one day in the future be apart of it. Obviously as I completed high school at 15yrs old I went through the whole college interview stage and after many I began my four years at fashion design college my pattern cutting journey began via a complex fashion design diploma course. Where despite all its bumpy ups and downs (such as learning how to operate a industrial sewing machine and completing a flawless collection in just under one month. Oh how I longed for the simplistic fashion wheel at times) it was worth all the effort. See I had to obtain the diploma if I wanted the fashion university opportunity (only available to those who achieved their 'golden ticket' diplomas) which oh my good god I was so extremely desperate for! I knew zero else about anything (well besides history and English the only other two subjects I excelled in and embraced).

The Distance Of My Fashion Road Trip.
So I completed my diploma course to my sheer delight I attended over eight different fashion university interviews up and down across England, while many of my very close friends made the decision to reject and discontinue their fashion ambition. I remember so vividly one of my friends ranting, "Come on be realistic every girl wants to be a part of the fashion scene just like every boy aspires to be in a rock & roll band...Its a dead end your better off working in fashion retail with a good steady wage and no massive university debt to pay off for the rest of your life." Despite this opinion ringing full blast in the back of my mind through out all my various university interviews I had faith in fashion and besides there is still so so much to learn, you can never truly know all the ins and outs of fickle fashion. The following September similar to thousand of people my age I moved to a new area alone (my other pals had the privilege of a gap year) and began a very different three year fashion degree course. Which came to an end around last summer and up until now I far from regretted staying on my long fashion ride and not at all delusional of the fact I still had some distance to go.

All Photos From: Kay Desmond.

Fashion Friends And Fashion Fall Outs.
I prepared myself for a high volume of mail and phone calls that result in fashion graduate rejection, not because I'm incapable of looking on the bright side and being optimistic: Rather because like that memory imprinted in the back of my head reminded me. Yes there are an awful lot (probably somewhere close to the billion mark) fashion graduates in the exact same boat as me. I could almost here the sound of rapid key board typing the noise created by various fashion grad's desperate to churn out their CV's and impress fashion 'insiders' with their proactive skills. As you've already guessed many of my fellow fashion graduate friends (many graduated a year or two before me. My friends are often older than myself) have too ,opted to abandon their chances of an fashion career. Most are genuinely nothing but distraught and it would be out of order and unfair to suggest they should of stuck it out a bit longer. Besides they would if they want it so very badly ...The truth is there are only so many unpaid long period internships a post graduate (from both a middle class backgrounds and working class backgrounds) can continue with. Especially when your up to your eyes in debt and are desperate to have some financial independence like so many of your non -post grad friends have access of.

Kicking Down That Fashion Door.
"Thank you for your interest in our fashion publication I'm afraid to inform your application to be short listed for our internship hasn't developed further as you have lack of fashion industry experience. Best wishes for the future, kind regards..."
Um... ok let me think this over... am I not trying to gain a internship in the pursuit of ticking off the 'fashion industry' experience box...Oh yes that's right, and exactly correct, I am. So you don't have to strain your eyes I shall edit the next fashion forward (or backwards) steps of moi. A couple of internships later I can no longer afford to work for free in the efforts to convince every one how very serious I am with my fashion ambition. After all travel expenses and bills cannot pay off them selves and no longer do I wish to consume a diet of cheap fruit and energy drinks as I have no pennies for a whole hearty food shop. I'm stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea feeling beyond baffled: by the blatant exploiting attitude of some fashion publications/ Pr's and labels. Who feel its acceptable to treat thousands and millions of graduates with years of hard work, grafting fashion qualifications under our stylish second hand sale belts.

Fashion Do Feel Free To Exploit: Do Make Us Your Fashion Victims.
Its not that were unwilling to work hard because we have come to the flase conclusion that our degree is enough to become a fashion editor or director of a fashion label, this is untrue. Though at the same time we ask for some basic respect (throwing your coffee orders at us may be a test. However we do want to learn a half useful skill, something other than how to avoid the cues in starbucks) and not to be discriminated against because our parents aren't a) a famous rock star with all those 'handy' contacts. Who's concerned if the qualification- less teenager in question, is unable to name one single fashion designer? Or for that matter know how to use a false dot and paragraph correctly: Quick hand her over her very own 'special' column, hell why not give her an second editor position! b) handing us over a credit and limitless platinum card. So we can afford to continue the path of 'internship' for at least another decade: Thank goodness for fashion blog huh? At least I can attempt to high light some unforeseen fashion talent with the hopes that someone may be willing to risk contributing a wage in returns for a internship. Fashion I'm still striving towards my goal and don't think you've seen the end of me You Wont Defeat Me and leave me at the way side of a catwalk...Though I must now begin to pay off university debts (made worse by your 'internships' that will 'enhance our CV'), rent and all those boring bills await me: I shall save up so I can begin another internship and organize coffee runs and pencil sharpening, oh not forgetting licking envelopes until I can no longer feel my sore blistered and paper cut tongue...May our love/ hate relationship continue to relish.
PS, I'm penning this after having to attend an interview for a double glazing window appointment maker (minimum wage pack, whoop whoop!) I'll inform you if I get the 'make do' vacancy.