DECLINED REALLY DECLINED

"They said I was a valued customer.Now they send me hate mail."

Confessions of a shopaholic

When,when will I depart from these depths of denial?There are no more paydays awaiting me at the end of each month.I.Am.Redundant.Now.Redundant as in no more income coming in anymore.Putting a stop to all forms of spend splurges,dresses,shoes,bags...oh my beautiful,beautiful bags.I've a secret stash of 'em totes,shoulder bags,fringed bags,vintage bags,weaved bags,studded bags.,quilted bags.All bags are a friend of mine,I'm not too fussed which ones I adopt and I consider it cruel and rude to reject.I'm convinced my bag collection breeds,there's no other logical explanation.How else could the amounts continue to expand?Trespassing and overspilling into other areas of my life,um I mean wardrobe.I've remained loyal to such daft,elaborate excuses when both confronted and embarrassed by my stash of handbags.Hence the secret stash part.It equals to such disgusting amounts,maths fails me all I know for sure is I'm emotionally attached to each and everyone.Yes I did just admit to having emotional bonds with my bags.Some vintage leather satchels have cherished stories,vivid memories,and precious secrets concealed inside of them.My vintage weaved red leather shoulder satchel 'school' bag (b'day gift from my mum,all her fault!) is my early account and admission into the addictive world of accessories.Since then every other week has included a 'birthday',people binge drink during weekends,me?I binge on bags,oblivious to any exceeding limits.One more!I'll have just one more,if I need to justify my purchase then I will justify away!In a haze of bag drunk behaviour,I become ever so defensive my excuses transparent and wearing thin,"All my other bags are inadequate,they don't have enough compartments like that one.I really need a bag with a nifty little front compartment,to...to keep my keys safe,also quick access;save me from rummaging all the way down to the bottom.Thus preventing myself from potential and the very real threat of getting mugged.This sleepy village is ghetto,thugs and crack dealers crawling all over the joint.This Vanessa Bruno bag may serve to my defense,you can't put a £235.00 price tag on safety can you?"There she goes again existing on an unhealthy diet of delusion,brainwashed by yet another bag...

images courtesy of Vanessa Bruno

TUMBLEWEED TREND

Urgh,what to do with all these pesky voids where employment once existed?I've been a victim of fashion retail redundancy for a few days and already I'm feeling frazzled:such huge volumes of boredom is exhausting.My body hasn't yet adjusted to our new routine of no routine.I continue to bounce out of bed,hit the bathroom and hit the coffee (harder then ever before,mind)before it occurs to me-there is no shop to open up,no tills to switch on,no fashion overviews to implement.There is no job to attend anymore only my impending JSA interview(job seekers allowance.For those of you lucky enough to avoid this recession/job cut carnage),until I hit that new low at the job centre.I decided after much debating (shouldn't piss away my last pay on pretty clothes etc vs yeah go for it,treat yourself you dedicated three hours to job hunting this morning...one item won't make you homeless)and hesitation to hit my local highstreet.
Really shouldn't of.
My intentions were to browse a few small fashion stores (I need to be around clothes rails!Customer service and the comforting sound of tills rolling out receipts)for some much needed escapism,though despite my efforts that big black redundancy cloud refused to stop stalking my every move.I was sent on a further downward spiral to despair,after both observing and absorbing the poor sight,of what is a pretty little town underneath the layers of highstreet decay.Of which I've been oblivious to in the past as a hectic always on the go,ignorant-to-my-close-surroundings employed person with no time to be looking around or if I'm frankly honest-give a hoot.This on/off/on again recession has consumed large parts of my small shopping town,Tesco's dominates one corner,an array of greasy kebab bars follow,with(mostly)crusty charity shops scattered across the road.The remainder?The remainder is an ugly reminder that the recession is very much still roaring,leaving odd awkward gaps where busy,buzzing fashion business once belonged(Peacocks being the more recent highstreet casualty)a shoe shop sits with visible empty shoeless shelves on display.It just becomes more bleak the further I explore my highstreet
...Newlook is crying for help,their struggle poorly concealed by desperate red/black
banners boasting that All Stock Must Go.Such sad shop displays have become much too common around here,the signs not difficult to translate.Other fashion stores fate have been decided,the doors are open for how long?My prediction-two weeks.Max.With windows blacked out in thick white opaque paint,hiding hollow insides.Another skeleton shop for this town to adopt.Another kebab bar/charity shop shall take their place,'tis a no brainer.This is possibly the worst retail therapy I have experienced.With all attempts to remain positive I visit the surviving DP's store,I love the DP shop girls who deliver smiles and make the effort to engage with such a vacant version of myself,"Hello there,are you ok?Would you like help with anything?"
Yeah I'm alright.Haning on,which is more than this town.Which needs the fucking help.
By the time I've arrived at my Dorothy Perkins destination,all enthusiasm has evaporated.Disturbed by the melt down of my 'shopping' town,I only purchase one rabbit ring and then make a swift exit.Feeling overwhelmed with the desire to help this shy and struggling highstreet of mine (admittedly prompted by my own selfishness too-I need more clothes shop options.Damn it!).I dash back to my desk,brain storm *lightbulb* Mary Portas aka queen of frocks i.e fierce fashion retail expert.Intelligent yes.Her tv episodes indicate intimidating too.Pah!Poorly edited?Or so I convince my anxious self as I commit to writing a wordly and lengthly email directed straight to Portas herself.
Send to: Portas Pilot
Subject:tumbleweed town.Help?

NO MONEY NO MARNI MONDAY

Okay so the format of this fashion blog of mine will probably include extra content from now on i.e the bemused musings of the unemployed:thus contents of shop splurges shall be slashed/reduced as is my bank allowance from here on out.This fashion blog will go from part-time posts to full-time posts i.e your going to get pretty sick of prettyneons,because I sure shall be style stalking,style swooning and banging on about bargain fashion buys alot more.Alot,lot more...oh you lucky things you!Yep,I'll be kicking back banging out blog entries like back in 2007/08 (these years were my unemployed graduate heyday time-see list of posts to travel back and catch up...where were you at the first time round,huh?It-was-a-blast!Especially my mini melt down episode in which I adopt shades of Johny Cash black clothes and leather jackets only.And record my first fashion internship fuck-up.You really do have some catching up to do my prettyneons newbies).
Let the full time,hardcore fashion blogging (procrastination in disguise) commence!
Marni's new fashionable habitat is soon going to be H&M from the 8th March onwards (*brainstorm* I should have titled this post 'Marni March'...no?Ah heck I can't be asked to change it now),bad timing doesn't cut it,nor will any amounts of strong coffee be enough to drown my sorrows.I should be elated for this epic highstreet event.It was after all on my dream anticipated collaboration wish list (again newbies see 2009 blog posts-catch up,catch up!) no 3,underneath Basso&Brooke I do believe?Meh memory fails me.
Dreams,lists and memory failures aside.I cannot believe the poor timing of H&M.
It's such a sore stinger of a bitch slap.
*OUCH/BURN*
Now,NOW Marni comes along and befriends one of my bestest highstreet stores.One burning question here.Where were you at Marni?You know during my marvelous days of employment and paydays?This is so mean and there's no where to hide and avoid the Marni mayhem,every blog,every magazine is hyping up H&M counting down the days...Like I need your numerical help!My Marni maths and number crunching has provided me with the answer of:10.No calculated required.Ten days until Marni graces those fashion rails and I self-combust with insane bouts of blogger envy,as the amount of Marni outfit posts by fellow fashion bloggers will be inevitable.So here's my comment for such girls now.Get out of my face.I dislike you,all of you.How dare you relish in all the Marni fun without me.Well enjoy yourselves.Hope that Marni print top (see below) fails to meet your standards and you have to request a refund,serves you right too for being so damn smug.Obtaining a piece of magical Marni happiness and then not including little bitter me.Only ha,what is this?I have obtained a piece of my very own Marni,by cheating.The images courtesy of H&M.How very kind and generous of them to allow me some sort of access to Marni,I'm printing all of the following off,cutting them out and glue gunning them to myself.Should make for an interesting outfit,paper cuts as accessories...my Marni paper ensemble may have the potential to grace Grazia?

images courtesy of H&M

SUPER STYLE SCRIMPER

I've always been a bargain babe.Job or no job.Of course I was made redundant from Peacocks(RIP)this week,so now style scrimping isn't optional.It is indeed essential.Fashion sales I need you.My wardrobe needs you.Without your existence we shall both suffer my style and I.So from now on I'm dedicating Saturdays to becoming a super style scrimper:by providing my fellow skint style slaves (...thanks you snazzy fashion NEETS for your sweet comments)to sale supreme. Because I don't know about you girls? But I get the shudders at the thought of not allowing myself some little weekend wardrobe treats.Luckily I'm partial to a spot of thrift shopping via charity shops,and consider myself a thrift pro.There's only so much thrifting around a girl can squeeze out of the second hand shops.So thank heavens for FashionUnions outlet. FU have been a fashion friend of my browser for a while now,and their outlet is definitely worth having a snoop around as your sure to strike style scrimper gold!
Today being my last pay day (depressing)I've splashed out on a few FU sale items,and snagged my sorry self to these(see below) beaut bargains including a pair of £15.00 shoes and mono-esque print dress also a purse friendly £15.00,bag not included.Well us NEETS (i.e not in education not in employment) like to look nice too,even if our days shall now only consist of day time tv sessions and dusting off/updating our CV's in the attempt to bag the ultimate accessory-a fashion career!Until you receive that phone call,lets unite and abuse THOSE sales,yes?Sassy style scrimpers start here...


heart dress,£32.00

shoes,£15.00

mono dress,£15.00
all images courtesy of Fashionunion

MY LITTLE PONY

I am furious with Fendi and their giant PR machine who had the nerve to contact me and leave these revolting runway images (see below) inside my inbox from their Fendi show in Milan yesterday. An vile array of slaughtered innocent animals such as mink,pony,goat,antelope and wait for it...rabbits.Yes adorable 'ickle bunny rabbits.Draped,dead and dangling off the arms of slender models;how can they participate in such a twisted parade of'luxury'?Do they feel no shame for encouraging this animal cruelty?Or are they somehow immuned from guilt,because they are only the models?Well,guess what?The models are not immuned.As far as I'm concerned they're as blame worthy as the heartless animal abuser airhead fashion designers.Possibly the most fucked up over paid,over rated individuals who walk this earth.That sentence is mild and not even harsh enough.It both saddens and sickens me in equal measures.To the point where I feel ashamed to associate myself with the on going slaughter house that is the fashion industry.Fendi,you requested me to post this 'incredible' fashion event,a frenzy of skinned-alive furs.Such a spectacular spread of ignorance,unnecessary torture and various rainbows of cruelty camouflaged in colours.All the agony pain and tears of the animals,forever silenced/muted and concealed in the form of a fucking clutch handbag.Why stop there with handbags,eh designers?Lets continue to churn out other luxurious animal based accessories.Pony skin shoes,sooo this season and like totes epic.This is the big problem isn't it? The demand by the deluded and oblivious(I assume)fashion victims.Who,must be unaware of the blatant,obvious connection between their fur frocks and fluffy animals,who become the real victims of fashion.Minus their own decision,of course.Now please Fendi and co.Do not EVER AGAIN send me your screwed up scenes of slaughter.As I've no concern for how you dress up death and embellish it-only makes the disgust more disgusting.


P.S...I know such anti-fur rants aren't original I bite my tongue a lot on this subject,however the Fendi catwalk clips have sent me to the edge.If I've offended any deadicated fur lovers...*newsflash* sod off.Prettyneons shall not feel your absence anyways.

images courtesy of Elle

images courtesy of Kurt Geiger
images courtesy of company magazine

FAITH IN FASHION

Paloma Faith,style icon

...Paloma,Paloma,Paloma I've been strictly style stalking Paloma Faith for years (if not a decade?HA!),now.It is more than some style obsession.Shes become a unhealthy style obsession!I was lucky enough to catch a Paloma Faith gig,back when I was a art/fashion student and didn't regret blowing my last few quid (bake bean allowance),away on seeing this girl.When she appeared on this tiny box of a stage,I was immediately overwhelmed by her style.Overwhelmed in a good way may I add!The style appreciation was lost on my fellow fashion student 'friends' who just found her dress sense comical,spitting out cruel jibes.They disliked all I adored about Paloma's stage get-up.From there on my Paloma Faith style crush spiralled out of control.No her style isn't refined,or fiercely loyal to those fussy and fickle fashion trends.It isn't premature to suggest that miss Faith is a rare and original style icon and has a huge copy cat effect and impact upon the crazy contents of my own wardrobe.It's only just the beginning of 2012 and this girl has thrown some serious style punches in the past weeks or so (see above),for further evidence check out her London Fashion week solo style parade!
P.S...no I cannot pick a Paloma Faith favourite fashion moment.Imposs.

MAKE MINE A MIAMI

Tragic news,Peacocks has gone bust.RIP.Would seem my last shift as an employed person was yesterday.I shall miss being a shop.girl.I shall miss styling people,and injecting girls with lots of savvy style confidence,I shall even miss all the not so pretty dramas that are part of the shop.girl package i.e customer complaints of how the size 12 skinny jeans one purchased don't fit...blame the shop.girl for your biscuit binge side effects,why not?.Biscuit binges aside.
Us girls were warned of the worst,and how rapidly it would unfold once the powers that be make their decision.Nothing could prepare me for evacuating my lovely loyal customers out of my shop door,mid afternoon as a mystery man dressed head to toe in black arrived to inform us shop girls that the store must close immediately.*Harsh*
Thus,between us in the staff room tears were rolling,some girls were vomiting in the toilets (including myself),and others collapsed on the floor under the buckle of suspense,stress and shock.We were instructed to attend jobseekers the process explained (I consider myself to be some what a JS pro...this situation being my fourth time post-graduating),and ignored as I turned away,and made my swift exit.I can't be certain when these tears will dry?
Many of my ex shop.girl colleagues hit the bottles and cocktails.Hard.This afternoon down the pub.I decided to numb myself by hitting the sales hard.Treated myself and my sorrows to a few RI treats...

It's no secret that I'm a highstreet fashion kinda gal,through and through.I can never champion our great fashion highstreet enough.Well,minus shoddy shambolic and shabby Primark,cannot tolerate that place.*Shudder* the smell of such high volumes of nasty Polyester. Polyester over dose.Much.
I have my close and trusty fashion hang outs.The special select set of shops I can always rely on in times of need...today,is a time of need.Desperate,desperate need.River Island has always remained just so loyal.When I stepped through them doors at RI I was instantly transported to the sunny,warm,happy destination of Miami...

Redundancy who,what?The array of vibrant colours,Versace-esque prints and splashes of tropical flowers,bright exotic birds and rainbow embellishments swept me far, far away from today's bleak reality.Fashion is threapy.Fact.Some find comfort in cocktails (my fellow just- made -redundant shop girls/colleagues),I find comfort in fashion.So make mine a Miami,like pronto!It was impossible to miss the big Miami hint that decorated the rails at River Island,it was only a matter of time before 2010/11 catwalk totally tropical gate crashed our highstreet.Hooorahzs too,because I'm thirsty for this zesty tropical trend (see my pick of Miami cool below),delivered to perfection by RI.

images courtesy of:River Island/Style Insider magazine

TEE TOTAL TUESDAY

Today is a Tuesday,and today it would seem I'm having one of them rough urgh days.
When nothing inside my wardrobe.NONE of it's colourful contents are providing me with an ounce of style satisfaction;not the mono stripe blazer,not the neon pink blazer(bonkers about the blazer?Umm yep just a little bit too enthusiastic for all things blazerish).Not the vintage polka-dot dress,not the nautical dress,not the pastel pink shorts(bbbbrrrrz definitely not short climate yet!),not the Aztec print pencil skirt...hmm,denim dungarees?Nah.Where did 'em denim dunga's come from anyway?AAHH,THE FRUSTRATION.OF.NOT.KNOWING.WHAT.I.WANT.TO.WEAR!
I decide to keep things easy-peasy,and gravitate towards basic jeggings
(cop out.I know),my over sized(and over abused)mustard yellow grandad cardigan (...convincing enough to be an Urban Outfitters item,but is in fact a thrift impostor)and a T-Shirt.
Where are all my tee's at?
How is my wardrobe tee-total?Why do I have none of these basic wardrobe staples?
Oh wait I lie.I own two band tee's.One MGMT with a mystical triangle unicorn thang going on and the other is Cage The Elephant.There was a valid reason why I rejected and piled these band tee's with my pj sweat tee's.Now why was it...?
Uh huh,yes I remember why these band tee's got the silent treatment,discarded to one side with my pj/sweats.Because band tee's attract unwanted attention from them inked up rocker boys.Bad news.Before you know it you've become his PA dragging around his 'baby' bass guitar to weekly Saturday night jam sessions,only to get mistaken for a teenage groupie.All because of THAT bloody band tee (and an instant bond/mutual appreciations for Cage The Elephant),you decided to advertise across your chest.Whilst innocently sat minding your own biz.


And.Breathe.
I digress....really need to kick that filthy habit.
With any band T-shirts,well,banned for the above bitter experience and going topless way,way out of the question.I guess I should get on it and invest in some T-shirts(see below)with these Bershka graphic print tee's it allows my style to be 'with the band' yet I can remain very much detached from the sides of a sweaty mosh pit.Brilliant!

images courtesy of Bershka

LONDON GIRL

Confession,I am partial to dismissing celeb endorsed fashion 'collections',if
I can be bothered to acknowledge any celeb fashion lines at all,I'll usually give it some stick.As many lets-play-fashion-designer attempts are shockingly awful,and an insult to talented fashion designers/graduates etc who go under the radar due to lack of Tv/singer/has been celebrity status under their belts.Never mind their great eye for detail or fashion design qualifications:invalid.Access to catwalk denied.Sorry.Go audition for some reality Tv series and we can consider churning out a A/W fashion collection for you.Which you can stick your name on and were pump it with high volumes of glossy fashion PR.No need to worry if the final product is standard and shoddy,we can gloss over any fashion faults by concealing it with your famous initials.You can be the next Whitney Port!
There are rare exceptions,in regards to celeb turned fashion designer,not all collections are cringe worthy,anti-climaxes.
Introducing Fearne Cotton her pieces for Very aren't original but they are always authentic,pretty,pleasant and sustain enough appeal.As I often find myself yearning for at least two or three items from each one of her Very collections,and after stumbling upon these (see below)sneak previews,I cannot wait to claim my vintage inspired Fearne floral frock...




images courtesy of DM

SUNDAY SPLURGE:PART FOUR

Sunday again,you know the drill.Right?Splurge time.In which I pretend via the power of great imagination that I've a hefty and healthy bank balance.Thus the purchasing possibilities are endless.Remember 'tis all pretend - no price tag too big.There are though,strict rules which apply to the weekly Sunday splurge sessions all items featured MUST be swoon worthy and TotemSalvage is indeed that and so much more...

I've had intentions to feature these beautiful bag creations for ages,when ispied
(as embarrassing as this confession is)Ivy (90210...yes,yes as in the very rubbish very bad very teenager tv show which I really should learn to switch off and stop watching if I want to be taken as a serious,mature twenty-something adult.*cough*),
rocking a Navajo rucksack whilst having a seriously stylish emotional breakdown.Um well,90210's version of a breakdown!I digress.
Strictly for research purposes (and not to indulge in trashy American tv),I had to commit to the end of the 90210 episode,in which this distracting Navajo rucksack of Ivy's repeatedly made an appearance.Luckily for me...ah I mean 'the fashion research',it was back-to-back episodes of 90210.I noticed this Navajo bag pattern occurring in almost every Ivy scene each one the more stylish than the last,of course. Zinser can do no wrong.Damn it the girls threads are way too underated,Zinser deserves more style shout outs!I've digressed again.Haven't I?
Days later with the impending mystery that is Ivy's rucksack continuing to both bug and baffle me,in a desperate bid I get the Googles and decide(in the name of fashion research and not because I enjoy 90210 in any shape or form.None.None at all.Not in the slightest.You understand?)to go more indepth with my Ivy rucksack investigation.Yes,it is indeed a full blown investigation now.
Okay so I've now entered the crazy world of hardcore 90210 fan forums/tumblrs many dedicated entirely to Zinser aka Ivy's mellow surfer style wardrobe.Overwhelming.Where to begin?Scrolling down every-single-Zinser-style-moment,with every outfit documented in detail (there is a whole Gillian Zinser underground?Who would have known,huhs?)finally the Navajo rucksack origins are revealed and leads me to the source of TotemSalvage.Accessories constructed out of discarded dusty bits and bobs such as once old Navajo rugs,sprinkled with delicate detailed embroidery and other fancy needlework tapestry.Hence Ivy's rucksack.

images courtesy of TotemSalvaged

INVITES TEARS ETC...

Why the silence?Truth be told I've been feeling a bit flat.Remember the whole NY fashion week surprise? (hmm does surprise cut it?Let me think.No)how VERY gobsmacked this girl was and still is.Gutted to discover that yes,THAT NY fashion all access invite turned out to indeed be the real McCoy,not some front row fake tease.
So why the frown then,and where's all the juicy front row fashion/style snap shots?
Sadly I've no snap shots,or style swooning's to offer you guys,as I had no choice but to reject my NY invite.Due to being very much unprepared and in general having to give myself a harsh reality check (...no dosh for the small matter that is air travel *crying*),reality checks suck don't they?Yep.This week has been one of invites,tears and private tantrums i.e during my lunch break at work.Sobbing into my sandwich's wishing I could swap staff room tea breaks for stylish fashion front rows.Then I slapped myself out of self-pity I must appreciate not being a NEET (not in education/not employed)everything could be sooo much worse.So what I couldn't attend NY FW?I'm sure it's over rated anyways.Right?A bunch of transparent fakes probably?With the odd celeb clothes horse and big ego fashion blogger thrown in for good measure,sprinkled with drugs/rock&roll.Pa-lease.'I'm t-totes and strictly interested in fashion/art-not the bullshit bits and pieces inbetween.New York fashion week cool kids and I were never gonna hit it off.High school on repeat.'
...and so I continued to repeat such thoughts to myself,until the NY novelty wore off.To no avail.Obvs.How can I possibly convince myself such an event would have been rubbish!?To make matters worse somebody from a magazine (not name dropping,no one likes a name drop)contacted me about attending London fashion week too and following it up with an article.Again stunned.More than stunned.Stunned times a million.Once again a mixture of bad timing,and reality checks(this time round the gig was unpaid and they,the magazine couldn't cover my travle costs.The distance between Somerset and London is one of great expense and one that my minimum wage will not cover!)preventing me from grabbing my fashion wheel dreams by the balls.Being Mr brightside and all I'll take such invites as a huge complement.Crack on and chase those fashion wheel dreams of mine.No avails not included.Because I'm only 25yrs old and can't write my fashion creative career off quite yet.Can I?No matter how elusive that bitch of a career is.
Dead ends and several set backs aside.During down time at my day shift,I've been dedicating a lot of time and vivid imagination to pondering over what I would wear when arriving to take my seat at fashion week.It would have to be something highstreet,I don't consider myself to be a trend ticker either so fashion rules aren't involved in any of my day-to-day ensemble equations.Fashion week or no fashion week.I couldn't give a hoot about ticking off any Grazia type boxes.Fashion week outfit sorted.My ponders return to who I'd like to style stalk back stage-Paloma Faith,Gilian Zinser or/and Gwen goes without saying really.Last but not least,which artist designer would I love to meet and mingle with?Maybe attempt to blag a free frock (anything is possible when in a day dream bubble!)from them as well.This one was a no brainer.It would definitely be the two brothers(Eri & Philip Chu) behind Ground Zero.The free frock?Well it would have to be this one...







images courtesy of GroundZero

s/s 2012 collection