12 October 2010


Browsing the clothes shops during lunch time, stuffing cake down my neck when it begins to piss down I decide to take shelter in the nearest shop- H&M. With no hint of the freak down pour easing off any time soon I except that my lunch time shall just have to be wasted inside the store (bummer huh?), I have no intention of actually adopting any items, seems I do still maintain some willpower.Hmm who would have thought it?
Anywho's I'm casually browsing the rails as you do, when I spy an adorable Nana knitted reindeer jumper dress, in glorious ice cream colours. Curiosity gets the better of me and I decide to play dress up in the changing rooms to kill time. Dedicated to my normal routine I grab two different sizes as I differ from store to store. Example in Primark I can be anything from a 12-18, in Newlook I'm a size 14 and so on, schizophrenic size system? I'm not one to allow a size tag to define me nor concern me. So what if I'm like a hundred different sizes? I'm not losing sleep over it or going to stress that I have a size 16 hanging up in my wardrobe.I enjoy food and I enjoy fashion lucky enough for me I've never felt compelled to keep the two separate, err not that I go around wearing cake or anything.I fell in love with style and fashion but never really swooned over or felt the desire to be like those models who grace the pages of Vogue and Elle etc.To me they simply aren't realistic.
Sadly to a small few they seem to be an hollow inspiration, if not some twisted religion?

As I pull over my size 14 jumper dress, and team it with a pair of size 12 heart patterned shorts (sale £4, yes I did take these home), I'm content not distraught that the size 12 jumper failed to slid over my curves. However next door to my changing room, I over hear various very disturbing conversations bouncing off the paper thin walls of the stores changing rooms. It's not exactly hard to hear others chatter through the flimsy walls.Firstly I over hear one group of girls erasing food groups from their "diet bible". I only wish I was kidding.
One girl sounds heartbroken, distraught and angry about failing to fit into a size 8,disgusted that she can't squeeze into the children's clothes, rather than her 'friend' comfort her and inform her that it's perfectly Okay for a twenty something to wear womenswear rather than a size age 5-6 jeans, she agrees with her upset friend that she has indeed "piled on the pounds through indulging in too much cereal" and must stick to the "model's diet the one we read in Style magazine". As if their deluded banter couldn't become anymore odd, they both agree to purchase a dress which is two sizes too small and "ditch lunch for three months"
Guess those two girls won't be stopping at Gregs for a bite to eat?
The opposite side of my changing room, I over hear yet another fragile and upset girl
work herself up in a huff about going up one dress size. She begins telling herself off and ranting at her bemused pal,"how am I ever going to get another date with any hot men if I keep ballooning up to the next size? I can't believe I need a size 12!Do you think I should consider that Slimfast diet?"
Erm no love I think you should consider getting a grip of reality and let go of size tags, they are just tags after all and are not the be all end all of the world.Buy the garmet you like pay less attention to the size by snipping off the tag, hang up those hang ups and don't allow false celebrity/model images fool you into believing that any size is wrong be it a size 8,10,12,14,16,18 or XL.Just roll with what you've got and except the solid fact that we can't all look identical we aren't all born with Vogue-esque limbs, this doesn't mean you can't celebrate and be proud of you and your own style. As for slimfasting it to keep the opposite sex pleased and have frequent dates. Please don't be daft, banish the thought that men only find air brushed women attractive. Besides come on now, think about it- nothing except bland low fat powder like milkshake everyday? Urrgh just for the sake of dropping a tag size or two. May I suggest you repeat this foolish idea out loud, so you can confirm how utterly crazy and insane that is.

08 October 2010

Weekend Crush'in

Why the one week hiatus? Do you remember my go casual for one week dare? Inflicted on me by my 'friend' who is a great believer in skinny jeans and rock & roll tee's, the 'friend' who egged me on playground style to indulge and become bff with denim. Yes well all the experimenting with dressing down left me for dead,casual left me defeated and by day four I surrounded by skipping around in my floaty floral frock, waving an anti-denim anti-casual flag created by recycling my denim jeans (never again peoples, I indeed committed a crime)you know just thinking of the environment and all that green jazz!
I'm still recovering from my casual/denim break down, I fear these mental wounds may never truly heal: I had an alarming nightmare in which several pairs of jeans and other casual items formed into this double denim blue beast, it invaded my wardrobe when Alexa Chung (like my nightmare couldn't become any worse)appeared and began to lecture me on all things 'cool' and casual forcing me to watch T4 before setting fire to my collection of dresses. To pick myself up from the deep depressing depths of fashion hell that is casual, I've made a weekend wish list to banish all memories of denim jeans forever!(insert smug/evil loud laugh)forever I tell you! Beginning with Peacocks who have an epic 20 % sale discount on everything including sale items.

I'm crushin like I've never crushed before (does that sound wrong?)on Peacocks Victorian floral bag and tanned heeled brogues,eekk and have you seen the pretty authentic Pearl dress? Have ya, have ya, have ya?! Now I have no intentions of waking up early tomorrow,dragging my feet to the nearest bus stop (which err isn't very near at all) and squeezing onto the packed sweaty Saturday bus full of screaming kids and oddballs.Hell no I'm killing two birds with one stone...catching up on shut eye followed by abusing the Peacocks 20 % off sale online from the comfort of my bedroom whoop, whoop. No sore feet,stuffy changing rooms or migraine's caused by bemused, bored screaming toddlers for me. Insert another whoop HERE.