24 September 2011


Before you ask,nope I never did get my paws on one of those amazing primark style shoe- pooper- scooper thinnngymebob's nore did I succeed tracking down the shoe-scooper-dupper-dude from primark either and invite him around my place to swoop in on my pile of shoes and scoop 'em all up.I wish.Man I really need one of them shoe-scooper's.What girl wouldn't?It would save the average footwear lurv'in female hours,sparing us all from the tedious chore of organising and clearing up our heels,flats,platforms,converse by hand one pair at a time hour after hour...urgh.Introduce the shoe scooper and bosh!Shoe edit done in nano-seconds.Allowing us to resume to the more important things in life like reading our fashion blogs,and shopping.Now there's a shoe void in your wardrobe,tis time to replenish!
Sadly there was no shoe-scooper for me to snatch,and my shoe blitz continued into the pm zone,considering I began at 11am you can imagine how much of a drag it became?Heyho at least my shoe graveyard is no longer existent,and what a depressing graveyard it was too!Discarded broken heels and converse dating back to my college days.I'm not going to lie here,my once lost love for converse has returned.Those cheaper highstreet imitations don't cut it for me anymore they've no appeal in comparison to the real McCoy-the original converse all stars.I squeezed my toes into an old pair of candy floss pink converse and my heart fluttered in the same way a new crush does.Converse effortlessly switch on the swagger and leave you ouzzing total coolness,if only in your head.I predict a converse splurge coming on...I'll save that treat for another post.Returning to my epic four day wardrobe blitz.It began with the daunting and equally mammoth task of tidying and sorting out the carnage of discarded,forgotten and all round dodgy shoes.With much willpower my floor space is clear, almost apart from the brogues...I kept the lot.What?I've a sacred bond with my brogues,I can't boot them out and into the charity shops.
Shoes all sorted today my focus has been on editing and organising all my dresses...

Ah yes delightful dresses my collection dates back to when star prints were having a bit of a fashion moment,I say bit only of course it has continued at full asteroid speed forcing they're way into our 2011 Autumn/Winter wardrobe,only this time the stars have collided with big fat black and white spots too.The owner of several galaxy printed dresses it won't harm me to part with the other three or four nebula print dresses now will it?I'll just keep hold of four,alright alright the clothes donation bag can have three and that's my finale offer.Left all starry eyed,I poke around,pull out and probe my other remaining dresses.And what a remainder they are.Volumes of floral and blossoms burst out.Is this a clothes rail or a flower basket?All that's missing to make this an authentic looking garden are the weeds.Well would you take a looksee here...weeds.Fashion weeds.Nasty,ghastly, gross and oh-my-god what was I thinking when I purchased these dresses?*Shudder bright yellow and orange fruit salad meets flower print prom dress,which only the kooky Katy Perry's of this world can pull off successfully.I am not her.It must go.Pronto!

Above illustrations courtesy of Sandra Suy

...Excuse me I'm still shuddering over that particular fashion weed.Whoa truly repulsive stuff.Okay I'm over it and ready to crack on.Hold up,wait what is this intriguing chiffon number that's floated delicately on to my foot...fuck not another weed in my floral dominated garbon (wardrobe+garden)this time in the form of a pussy bow blouse complete with granny flower pattern.Remember that micro trend?I despise being yet another fashion victim,yet the evidence lays in a chiffon heap on the floor.Hands up that bizarre granny/floral/tapestry trend lead me astray and off to trend land I followed.I tells you what,I'm not going back to that strange place again.Back to the dresses,these clothes rails are really quite ridiculous.All this time I've been in a state of denial over the extent of my addiction to dresses.I can even spot two of the same boat print dress:at least it isn't floral I suppose?
I riffle through an array of dresses,when I notice a similar pattern occurring...owls and other birds.I was aware that I'm more than partial to owl/ bird based accessories,mostly necklaces.However I wasn't aware of what a sucker I am for a sparrow and owl ditsy print combo.Until I push aside five hangers of the things,making me a sure strong candidate for the next series of Spring Watch.Tweet twhhhoooo this little birdie has a long way to go before she reaches her destination of a perfectly formed and organised wardrobe.

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