30 September 2011


Besides carrying around our favourite and most adored handbag there's nothing more us girls enjoy dragging around than a heavy lump of body hang ups.You lie and are fooling no one if your mumbling,"nah got none." PA-LEASSSE...
After oohh,say ten minutes of sitting down scoffing sweet,sweet cake with my size nothing pal this lunch time,we both immediately regretted our cake sins (having a bloated pig sort of day I'm sure your all familiar with them ladies!?)and this triggered us to have one of those big backside-bad hair day-knobbly knees-armpit cleavage whines.That only us women do so brilliantly.Ah yes we,or more she did raise the intriguing subject of armpit cleavage.Or rather pitage as we have now coined up between us.Rolling up her T-shirt sleeve,fiddling around with the sides of her bra (in public may I add-she has no shame this woman!)she,my slightly mentally unstable friend began demonstrating the effects of armpit cleavage,"There right there don't you see it?"
Nope,what am I suppose to be seeing here exactly?
..."isn't it disgusting?See how my armpit flesh spills, pinches and rolls over the corner of my bra?I can't stand it!I was wearing a beautiful bandeau dress on my date with the boy last weekend.When I leaned over for the kill,suddenly noticing this bizarre ripple of fat protruding from underneath my armpit.I've actual fat armpits can you believe it honey?"
Roar.Of.Laughter was my instant reaction.How we spot these minor and very ridiculous body blunders eh?First there was the does-my-bum-look-big-in-this?Followed often by do-my-legs-look-chunky?Let's not forget the insane lengths many go to for a wash board stomach.Now we've added yet another to the let's beat ourselves up list...fat frigg'in enormous armpits.Really now?Because we don't have enough body issues to digest already.Puns pushed aside.Just how many seconds,minutes,hours,days,weeks, months (...um yeah you get my drift already?) are we girlie's prepared to waste away? Pondering over fat armpits and other insecure body etc's.Swearing all sorts of harsh obscenes to the reflection in the mirror,shouting at our wardrobes whilst having one of those none-of-these-size-tops-fit- me- properly-aahh I look fat in all of 'em rage.*Cringe*
The attitudes towards ourselves,our bodies is embarrassing and weired.Why our brains are determined to remain wired and knotted up this way,generation after generation
beats me?The fashion items we seem to dismiss and essentially deny ourselves because of our little and very insignificant lumps,bumps and armpit cleavage,is,in short insane.All us women are off our rocket aren't we?Paronoid wrecks walking around ooooozing killer style.Yet we can't seem to shred those annoying,intruding nagging thoughts that disturb us when concentrating how to walk in our heels.Will we ever get the balance right?Will we ever embrace our unique bodies?Rebel big time by showing off our quirky imperfections instead of forever trying to conceal them underneath slouchy,lose drab layers of clothes.Come out from underneath your hiding place.Rock that bandeau top/dress and get over the armpit cleavage/'pitage' already!Unless of course you want to be like her(above)and spend your life hiding underneath bookshelves?In which case how very boring.

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