13 January 2012


Is there really such thing?I really get a sick kick out of working out whether it be cycling,dancing,skipping the yin an Yang's of yoga or the gym.I love it.All of it.Well there is one exception to exercising I really,really dislike...no not squats or the sting of sit-ups but how style somehow ends up abandoned at the gym entrance,along with make-up rituals (kiss goodbye to that lipstick),accessories (bad accidents occur when you mix necklaces and rowing machines together)and any sort of height extending footwear.Hey flats!Thanks for reminding me and all these other sweaty strangers how much of a short arse I actually am.Yes,yes I'm nothing other than a four foot something fake.Now if you don't mind I'm going to cruel inside my gym locker,away from the shame of being such a shortie.Urgh.The expense of a gym membership,and what does it get me huh?Elastic embarrassment in the form of Lycra,revealing a multitude of hang ups and sins which I strive daily to conceal.By choosing garments and shapes that magically make such dodgy lumps and bumpy body parts dissolve.Erm kinda.But this isn't no ordinary environment is it?This is the gym we are talking about,where anything goes.Like trainers,jersey joggers and drab grey tee's.Shudder*.To roll with the rest who are here happily body pumping their mince pies away,whilst sporting trackie bottoms and stretch vest tops?Hmm I don't know,if I'm down with that?The situation in this mirror covered hall,is,well it's damn awkward.In a first date sort of awkwardness...keeping things casual yet looking killer too,without appearing too eager.Wanting to stand out yet blend in at the same time.Have I achieved this or am I tipping the style scales in my band tee (MGMT) and silver leggings,and pink silk head scarf?There's a fellow fat fighter working out
opposite me,trying to contain her amusement with my gym get-up.She's one of them hardcore Nike whores both in and out of the gym...if you know what I mean?Perhaps I'm jealous?Why can't I rock a pair of Nikes and starchy trackie bottoms in such a shameless manner.Oh yeah that's right.Because I'm not insane!The gym is never going to be a place where style and sweat meet and come together in harmony.The fitness world needs a fashion icon...Tamaya?Could she become the style inspiration that the all so stern and serious gym fashionphobic people need?The motivation to ditch those dull as dishwater workout rags straight from the Nike'ie nineties and instead replace the Lycra for lipstick and lashings of false eye lashes.Don't compromise your style for a couple of star jumps right?.And bring on the Tamaya style revolution like right NOW no?

image:Tamaya.Courtesy of channel 4

No comments: