08 January 2012

SALES & SUSPENSE

Oohh the suspense of the much anticipated January sales,the excitement begins to kick in 'round about October,others are counting the days down to Xmas,whilst most us girls are only concerned with ticking off the festive period altogether and targeting those sale rails to snag us something a little special at a bank account happy price.Yep the new year sales are Disneyland for grown up girls,the adrenalin is that of a hundred cans of red bull,and of course red bull also being the fuel of choice pre-sales shopping.Browsing the sales requires much more than a sharp eye for style,a girl needs tactics,stamina and a sharpened stiletto heel (for self defense,more on that later),got that?Your good to go,err almost...

There's several different types of sale shopper,some are savvy others are seriously
unorganised and scatty,wondering around in a daze struggling to navigate through the sale fog-don't allow those sale banners intimidate you!Also do try and resist the temptation to impulse buy and make hasty decision's.Bright coloured skinny jeans,yes a bargain at ten quid,however have skinny jeans ever been apart of your staple style diet?If no,why adopt such a tricky trend now.Sales are a golden opportunity to bulk up on your bff fashion items.Sales however really aren't a great time to begin experimenting with the normally unforbidden,trespassing on unfamiliar territory.Stay within the restrictions of your style comfort zone.Or else your be flooded with regret once you return home and empty out the contents of your shopping bag as it suddenly dawns on you what an utter mistake you've made,with nothing but long lists of reciepts to constantly remind you of your failings,all of which added up rapidly and has left you with a starved,hollow purse.*Stings like a bitch.
Make the January sales your best friend not a messy,complicated situation one which echo's a cheap one night stand.Do.Not.Set yourself a time scale,your setting yourself up for a disaster otherwise.Bunk off wherever your suppose to be,aim to reach the shop doors before sunrise and go it alone.Yes alone,as in not with a friend,because your stress levels will at some point hit steam-coming-out-of-ears peek and nobody wishes to witness that,oh and you'll probably reveal your greedy (Topshop shoes make a girl do funny things) ugly side too that even your closest pal would be oblivious to.For sale shopping a girl has to fly solo,and if any of your girlfriends are offended assure them you still love them and it doesn't spell out the end to any other future shopping/coffee dates.They'll understand your on a one woman mission and if not pick them up a little something from their fave shop to win back their affection.Friends sorted.



Next up self-defense.Believe it or not there are bigger fashion bitches than you,so be warned and be prepared.'Tis time to toughen up,looking the part helps scare off any stiff competition.Ditch any delicate florals or pretty,pretty ditsy details.Pull yourself together,look sharp and repeat to yourself,'any gold dust fashion finds shall be mine'put on your best kick arse footwear and pull on some leather for good measure khol those eyes too!Ready?
Wait,wait,wait... keep a spare pair of shoes in your bag,make them a stiletto and if anyone dare snatch that leather satchel bag out the palm of your hand a pronto poke should do the trick.Ah I wouldn't call it aggression.Violence sounds so thugish.Hmmm...precaution,should you have to use it.Now shoulders back,because you attend to do some damage at that sale.

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